Bush's best way to respond to Chávez: Humor

by Andres Oppenheimer

Before I tell you my opinion on whether this is realistic or wishful thinking, let's look at what Tom Shannon, the State Department official in charge of Latin American, Caribbean and Canadian affairs, told me in a telephone interview shortly before Bush's trip today. Bush is to visit Brazil, Uruguay, Colombia, Guatemala and Mexico through Wednesday.

Asked how Bush will react to Chávez's effort to upstage him by holding a rally at a 40,000-capacity soccer stadium in Buenos Aires on the same day that Bush arrives in neighboring Uruguay, Shannon told me, ``Chávez won't be a center point of the trip.''

Shannon cited Bush's speech Monday, in which the U.S. government announced among other things, $385 million for affordable housing mortgage programs and $75 million for English language studies in the region, and said that the president will carry a positive -- rather than confrontational -- message.

''The president made clear that we recognize that what is driving politics in the region is a social agenda that is not being met: poverty and inequality and social exclusion,'' Shannon said. ``The purpose of the trip is to underscore the point that we care about the region, and we understand the social agenda. We are going to bring to the region a positive agenda.''

But will Bush be able to ignore Chávez, when Venezuela's narcissist-Leninist leader is likely to get worldwide attention with his anti-Bush political show? Only days ago, talking about his plans to wait for Bush in Argentina, Chávez referred to the president as ``the biggest mass murderer in history.''

''Chávez's whole message now is one of anti-Americanism and one of confrontation with us,'' Shannon responded. ``He is going to pursue that wherever he can. He throws this bait out on a daily basis, but we just refuse to take it. We are going to ignore it.''

U.S. officials are baffled by Argentina President Néstor Kirchner's decision to give Chávez a platform from which to poke Bush in the eye.

Argentine Cabinet members and ex-soccer superstar Diego Maradona are reportedly planning to attend the protest.

Kirchner, a pragmatic populist -- if there is such a thing -- gave a red carpet welcome to U.S. Undersecretary of State Nicholas Burns and Shannon last month, sending a clear signal that he wanted to make up for his public verbal pounding of Bush at the 2005 Summit of the Americas in Argentina.

After meeting with Kirchner last month, Burns was quoted by the Associated Press as saying that the U.S.-Argentina relationship 'is really going to improve quote `significantly' in the months ahead.''

I couldn't resist asking Shannon what he thinks of Kirchner's decision to give Chávez an anti-Bush podium in Argentina.

''It doesn't help,'' Shannon said. ``What we did [during the recent trip to Argentina] still stands. But Argentina has an internal dynamic, and in many ways what we are seeing is that this dynamic works in ways that no one outside Argentina understands.''

My opinion: Bush is doing the right thing in stressing a positive agenda focused on the poor. But if he thinks he will be able to ignore Chávez, he's dreaming: Chávez will steal the headlines, and Bush will have no alternative but to respond.

Bush's best bet would be to answer with humor. If I were him, I would drop half of my State Department bureaucrats from my delegation, and replace them with Saturday Night Life script writers. In today's era of media-driven politics, the only way to avoid being clobbered by a showman is putting up a better show.

P.S.: I am honored that Bush announced two of the four concrete proposals suggested in this column Sunday by stating Monday that he will launch an ethanol cooperation deal with Brazil and a $75 million program to help young Latin Americans learn English.

I would be even more honored if Bush endorses my other two proposals -- a New Alliance for Progress and a Hemispheric Health Cooperation plan -- over the next few days.

Source: Miami Herald